Recently I shared a story about a life struggle, that women/moms go through more than I knew. The term “post partum” sounds so negative… While its something very common, some range from small to big like many things in life. Id like to take a moment and share a little bit about my story.
I am very blessed to say that I have a tremendous support system, and my own self awareness to know that my case looking back in retrospect was NOTHING in comparison to other cases. It took me a while to realize though that my pain at that moment was REAL and RAW and I shouldn’t devalue it. Instead, I rather share it!
My PP, was 4 months after my son Julian was born. His start at LIFE with us, was a bit rough in the beginning to say the least. But, he’s a happy healthy baby boy who makes me melt every time! (he totally has me wrapped around his finger and my household knows it! 🙂
When Julian was born, he and I had our touch time, and quickly after that he was taken to NICU, he never made it to my room, and he stayed in NICU for 13 days. I had to leave the hospital without my child, I can’t even begin to explain the emotions I was going through those past few weeks. He was kept because of water in his lungs at first because he had dusky episode. After that, it was a series of examinations everyday, pricked and poked, GI Tubes, X Rays, etc. Im grateful for it all, don’t get me wrong. But, at that moment, you just want to go home and cuddle your child. Well, the day came we left and we were finally home! We got sent home with a apnea monitor that would ring like a fire alarm every time he moved. We had doctors appointments after to make sure we can remove it and few months after being home we were cleared! Looking back, while being in NICU you see so many more severe cases that you tell yourself/ ask, is mine that bad? But, at that moment for me and Ricky it was. Months later a close friend of mine lost the love her life in a tragic accident and about few weeks later was Belles birthday. I was on the phone with my mom, because we talk daily, and she asked me if I needed help, and I asked for what? and she said for Belles birthday. The thought of planing and having people over dreaded me, which that for me was red flag! If you know me personally, you know I have pure joy when people come over, when I Host, when I cook, when im running around but I love it! So, there is when I knew I needed to face the music, and I did. My husband and Family gave me signs that I pushed away, but I knew I had to work on it on my own!
So, I started with my hair, my hair for me was a tremendous self esteem booster since young & my boobs but that will wait lol, my boobs after weightloss and pregnancy well ladies…you know! So I began with Monat, and yes while its a business, I truthfully joined for the products, and FOR ME & guess what?? its working! I suffered from alopecia (auto immune disease) and they told me my hair would never grow. Do you know what that is? as a woman? so for me to find them, and the products work. I love it!
I TRY! key word here, TRY to practice being in the moment. I try to practice mindfulness I try to practice gratitude. I try to take moments to myself everyday or a few times throughout the week to just sit alone outside and breathe and ground myself! I say try, because its work. It takes work to find peace, it takes work to maintain happiness. Its like any relationship worth fighting for.
I am happy that I was able to share my story & in hopes to let other women know your not alone. We are all doing our best! We are all trying to do the same thing, raise decent tiny humans to survive this world who doesn’t stop for anyone!
If you can, go visit: www.myhappyr.com and check out so many amazing women sharing real life stories and keeping it real! Share with anyone who you think might need it! You never know who you can help or even put a smile on!
Thank you for following my journey!
Hugs & Happiness,
Jackie ~ TheMommaThatCould